i've thought about sleeping but all i can think is that it will be cold without your body against mine. i've thought about closing my eyes but all i can think is that i would much rather keep them open and look around at all the places you've stood, things you've touched, art you've made. i've thought about getting up to get some tea or something to eat but all i can think is that no drink or food will make me stop thinking of you long enough to succumb to the tired i feel. i've thought about getting a shower but all i can think is that leaving your bed and the calm the scent of you here brings me is probably the worst idea i've ever had.

so i'm laying here, scribbling words onto this pad of paper. maybe it'll help me finally go to sleep and maybe it won't, but what i do know is that a night without you feels like an eternity. i'm thinking of you, wishing you were here, my arms around you, your hand in my hair or on my chest, your lips against my skin, your heartbeat like a lullaby that helps me drift to sleep. i'm looking forward to seeing you in your dressy outfit tomorrow and to see your smile. i hope you have fun, i'm wishing for it as hard as i can, but at the same time, i am impatiently waiting to have you back with me. i miss you. it's barely been eight hours and i miss you.

the night has never felt so long.